Looking for work in the vast city of Bastion? Not interested in heading into the Deep Country to do farming work? Find the Living Skies too haunting to explore? Well, there is plenty of work in Bastion, some jobs more odd than others.

Let’s explore the help wanted page to get an idea of some of the work you could pick up while here in the city (and inevitably fail).

Acupressurist of Inanimate Objects

You were taught to ease and adjust the energy flowing through things. You never finished your training.

Energy moves through all things. Some people believe it is through their chi or perhaps their living spirit. But why do we isolate it to the living?

That’s right – the unliving have this energy too. Have you ever noticed that a room can make you feel a specific way? How sitting in a chair can make you feel more relaxed? Or how a good bed can help you fall asleep so quickly, you didn’t notice you were even asleep?

These emotions and auras exist in objects and we need to tend to them. Acupressure is not only for the living. You have to look after your objects too. Otherwise, who knows what would happen?

Retail Therapist

You helped people spend money you had no hope of ever earning. None of it rubbed off onto you.

People with money want to spend it. People with too much money need to spend it. You help them out.

The practice of retail therapy is sometimes seen as a negative thing. People see it as wealthy people frivolously spending money on things they don’t need to make themselves feel better. But retail therapy is more than that. Retail therapy is… having wealthy people frivolously spend money on things they don’t need so you can get a paycheck. It isn’t much – hardly anything really – but it is better than nothing.

Public Nuisance

Something about you has always annoyed others. You can’t imagine what it is.

Sometimes the world just needs a little more weird in it. Sometimes people don’t appreciate it.

Being an nuisance is an art in itself. You need to be annoying, frustrating, an endless pest. Different nuisances perform this responsibility differently. Some are frightening, some are disgusting. Whatever your brand of nuisance, just make sure to lean into it. Otherwise, are you really doing your job?


An imitation of life in felt, wood, and string. You don’t need to eat, drink, sleep, or love, but still feel the drives.

Mockeries lived cursed in their cute and cuddly bodies. Whether they be a teddy bear, an old puppet, or a strange spliced raccoon, Mockeries live a half life. They experience the hungers and thirsts of humanity, but have no way of feeding these needs. Still, it’s an important job… for some reason.

Want to make yourself into a Mockery? All you would have to do is walk into the Underground. You would probably find a machine that would do it… if you didn’t find another kind of machine first.

Masked Horrorist

Horrors rise from the Underground. We must make a friend of fear, and scare them back down.

The Masked Horrorist has devoted their lives to making sure the strange creatures in the Underground stay there. The machines under the city will construct anything from anything – some good and some bad. The important thing is that some things need to stay down there.

You can do this in any way you wish, just make it frightening. Masks, pyrotechnics, gunfire – just make sure they stay down there. Otherwise, you might find yourself dropped there in their place.

If you want to see what other strange jobs are available in Bastion (I highly recommend you do), pick up your copy of Electric Bastionland here!

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